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I believe there is no "true" difference between girls and boys. Sure, we are biologically different in our appearance and our genitals, but so far as differences that transcend the physical body, I believe they lie within each individual, not with in all boys and all girls. Society has formed gender identities based on a person's sex, and THOSE differences are often mistake for "true" differences, but I see everyday, when I look in the mirror, a person who doesn't fit within society's boundaries. I identify with many aspects of both genders, but more-so with the gender opposite my sex. So when did I learn about all this? I didn't come to the state of awareness I have about all of this until only a year or so ago. As for the fact that boys have penises and girls have tits and vaginas: I knew that when I was four.
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The problem there is that society as a whole recognizes differences between the genders. And our socialized definition of what a male or female should be comes to have real value when it's accepted on such a large scale. It's not just an oudated idea, it's a fact.
So no, I don't think there are real differences between the genders. I really do agree with you, above. I hate the implications of a gendered society. I'd just as well have us all walking around with Barbie Doll crotches and blank chests. However, I recognize that notions of gender, more than anything else have the power to make the savage differences between girls and boys very real.
I realized this when I was hiking through the rainforest-- an 8 mile hike with my mom and a bunch of other tourists I didn't know. None of them could make it up this particular rock face at the peak of the mountain but me and the guide. When we got to the top, I was taking in the view and soaking my bare feet is a shallow pool. When I turned around, the guide was naked and approaching me. This man's perception of me as someone weaker than himself, someone whom he should have conrol over-- his internalized machismo ideal is real. On the way back down, he carved my initials onto the leaf of a rubber plant that was growing on the side of the mountain. And he thinks he is a real man.
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The problem there is that society as a whole recognizes differences between the genders. And our socialized definition of what a male or female should be comes to have real value when it's accepted on such a large scale. It's not just an oudated idea, it's a fact.
So no, I don't think there are real differences between the genders. I really do agree with you, above. I hate the implications of a gendered society. I'd just as well have us all walking around with Barbie Doll crotches and blank chests. However, I recognize that notions of gender, more than anything else have the power to make the savage differences between girls and boys very real.
I realized this when I was hiking through the rainforest-- an 8 mile hike with my mom and a bunch of other tourists I didn't know. None of them could make it up this particular rock face at the peak of the mountain but me and the guide. When we got to the top, I was taking in the view and soaking my bare feet is a shallow pool. When I turned around, the guide was naked and approaching me. This man's perception of me as someone weaker than himself, someone whom he should have conrol over-- his internalized machismo ideal is real. On the way back down, he carved my initials onto the leaf of a rubber plant that was growing on the side of the mountain. And he thinks he is a real man.
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This is "Above" talking (first poster). We do agree then, because I am all too aware of the importance and power of a person's sex in today's society. An important difference to make note of though, is that between sex and gender. Sex is strictly biological, gender is social. Yes, there are of course clear cut differences between the male and female sex as well as differences between the masculine and feminine genders. What I was trying to say, and rereading my post, I see that I was not clear, was that sex does not determine gender and vice versa. Sex-males may relate to a masculine gender, producing society's idea of "man," and sex-females may relate to a feminine gender, producing the "woman." Where the trouble comes in is when males associate with feminine genders, females with masculine, and every variance in between. Society doesn't know what to do with this, at least not our society. The Two-Spirit people, in some Native American cultures is often referred to in these types of discussions. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-spirit). Basically in these tribes, there is a ceremony among young adults where they choose the gender role they wish to follow, and once the decision was made, they were fully accepted into that society, with no discrimination or prejudice whatsoever.
Basically my main point is this: Yes, society has defined boys and girls as people who's sex matches their gender, if you will, and these definitions are the accepted/enforced differences between men and women, boys and girls. However, through my experiences, both with myself and others, I've seen that these differences society has claimed are not the be-all, end-all of boys and girls. There are boys who are gender-feminine and there are girls who are gender-masculine, as well as people who have various degrees of masculinity and femininity. For this reason, each person, male or female, is his/her own person, and society's differences may or may not apply to him/her, but assumptions should never be made. I know this is an idealized way of thinking, and yes, I do understand the power society has on this issue, but regardless of that, we are, at our cores, different not only to the other sex/gender, but to every other person. We are, each of us, a unique being. (10 cliche points for me!)
*I want to note that all of this sex vs. gender discussion/debate has nothing to do with sexual orientation, a very common misconception. A feminine male may still be sexually attracted to females, and a masculine female may still be attracted to males. Again, assumptions should not be made. Hope this clears up my other post! And as you can all tell, I am very passionate about gender justice and the issues surrounding this whole topic.
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I first realized that boys and girls were different in fifth grade. This was around the time in elementary school when boys were being startled by a sudden swelling in their crotch and girls began to notice a swelling in their chest. We also began to notice this about each other. And became intrigued by it.
In 4th grade our class divides into two groups. Girls and Boys.
The boys would go into one classroom with our assistant principle (One of the only male educators at our school) and we would watch a video about what was happening 'down there'. The video explained sperm, erection, pubic hair. All that fun stuff.
The girls would respectively go into their room with one of the female teachers and watch their video about periods and such.
We watched these videos right before recess.
As we filed out of the classroom us boys walked with a sense of pride.
A feeling of tribal communion.
A sense of masculinity showered over us.
The girls walked with their heads held high.
They were keeping secrets from us.
They strolled down the hallways ignoring us boys.
Occasionally peaking out their eye corners to see if we were looking.
And then giggle as they walked into the bathroom.
As the year went on, though. The secretive flirtation turned into harsh annoyance.
The boys found out that when a girl asked the teacher for a 'pink eraser' and the teacher looked for one in vain and responded 'go down to the office and get one for us, please' meant that she needed a pad and would find shelter in the nurses office.
The teachers decided to educate us all and allow us to watch each other's movies.
So, once again the boys filed into one room and girls in the other.
They switched tapes.
The girls learned to horror that is the penis.
And boys learned the mystery that was the vagina.
After the movie.
Us boys were silent.
Contemplating what we just saw.
It happens once a month? Blood?
It was inconceivable and terrible and unattractive.
We looked around the room at each other.
Looks of confusion flushed our faces.
Embarrassment maybe.
Our masculine tribal sense of community was gone.
We were nomads.
Who knew what our destination was... but questioned if that is where we longed to be.
After discussing the issues among ourselves we realized something.
The girls had watched our video, too.
We left the room and saw the girls walking out of their room too.
We felt naked.
We felt their eyes dart to our crotch and then back to our face... checking for an erection no less.
We walked passed each other.
We were suddenly scared of each other.
The girls looked at us as predators.
And we looked at them with eyes that begged to go back to the way things were.
Things wouldn't be the same.
It was at that point that girls realized they should be afraid of us. The stories that mothers told their daughters came true in that instant. We were violent. We would never be satisfied. We were hungry.
Boys were bad.
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